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Jump to. It could be your first time or you may have had sex before. There are no set rules, but there are some things to consider that will help you decide. Sexual consent means agreeing to take part in any kind of sexual activity, not just penetrative vaginal or anal sex. Too much talking can kill the moment but there are other ways to check in with your partner for consent, for example, eye contact, sounds and touch.


Reasons why some women in their 30s and 40s lose interest in sex. By Audrey Edwards. She still recalls the purely sexual thoughts she had the first time she saw him: "Tall.

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Nice butt, tight jeans. And the way he walked! Oh, Lordy. I couldn't talk.

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I couldn't breathe. That was 11 years ago. Today, when her husband, still handsome at 39, is stretched out on the bed beckoning to her, "Come do me," this mother of four is thinking, "You've got to be kidding! An estimated 24 million American women aren't interested in sex, based on a recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. What's Going on Here?

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Though certain medical problems can cause a woman to lose interest in sex, for the most part, a weakened libido is part of the natural aging process. An underactive thyroid, oral contraceptives and blood-pressure-lowering drugs can also inhibit libido.

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As can something as simple and obvious as chronic sleep deprivation—a problem for virtually every woman who has young children at home. Another contributing factor is the prevalence of depression among women, which is, almost by definition, accompanied by a loss of interest in sex. Unfortunately, many of the newer antidepressant medications prescribed to treat this problem also kill sexual desire as a side effect.

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The Strain of Everyday Life As women have taken on more responsibilities outside the home, they haven't given up any of the caretaking duties they've always shouldered, and the strain often shows up in the bedroom. Anger and resentment-even if they go unacknowledged—start to creep in.

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Many women in long-term relationships also lose interest in sex because they don't want the kind of sex they've been having. For things to get better, stresses Morehouse, women need to take the risk of figuring out what they want sexually—something many still don't know—and to accept part of the responsibility for having an unsatisfying or boring sex life.

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Stop and ask yourself these important questions: Have you given yourself over to your job, to your children or to other things in your life to the extent that you now feel depleted by them? Do you have moments when you feel that you no longer know who you are and why you're leading this life of yours?

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It's vital to get behind the feelings of numbness and emptiness that may have replaced your sexual desire. Once you've started an honest dialogue with yourself on these issues, you need to then talk with your partner about them.

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Being completely open about what you're feeling about your life together is the first step to reclaiming your true self—and the sexual person you once were. Get more inspiration like this delivered to your inbox. Please accept the Oprah.

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More O Magazine. Live Your Best Love Life! How to Unleash Your Girl Power.

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Regina King's Aha!

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Posted March 21, Reviewed by Devon Frye.