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  • Years old:
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Think back to those hungry, lusty days in your early relationship. For those in long term relationships, the difference between your sex life then and now may feel stark. It may even cause you to wonder if your relationship is ultimately doomed. Sanam Hafeeza clinical psychologist based in New York City.


How can my spouse and I learn to understand each other? Men and women sure are different! All we need to do is look at how any group of guys or girls interact to begin to see some differences.

Sexual roadblocks

Obviously, these are generalities, but here are just a few of the differences between men and women:. So how are you supposed to know what your husband or wife wants and needs?

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For our book, The 5 Love Needs of Men and Womenwe surveyed more than couples from across the country and asked them to rank what they needed from their spouse. The may surprise you! Imagine your spouse loving you completely, without even hesitating over your mistakes.

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When your wife hears the word intimacy, she thinks about emotional connection and communication. She wants a marriage that has vulnerable sharing of inner thoughts, feelings, spirit and true self. Listen to her. Show her an understanding heart.

A wife’s top five love needs

Give her attention and affection. Build rapport with her.

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Resolve conflict and safeguard your relationship. A wife wants a marriage as a cord with three strands: God, husband, and wife. She wants God to be inextricably woven throughout the marriage relationship. She needs to be growing spiritually and watching you grow spiritually and leading the home. To do so, encourage her spiritual growth, encourage her fellowship with you and others, encourage her to express her spiritual gifts and encourage her with your prayers.

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To keep a bounce in her step, give her daily doses of encouragement. Encourage her by understanding her wiring, giving her first place, pointing out her potential and appreciating her contribution. To your wife, friendship means heart-to-heart communication, special time away with you and growing old together.

It involves togetherness. She needs you to work hard at your marriage — to laugh together, play together, stay the course and work out the inevitable differences between you. When your husband needs your unconditional love, it simply means that he needs you to love him and receive him no matter what. He loves us even though we are full of pride and self-centeredness. Consequently, when a man experiences sexual rejection from his wife, he may shut down, pull away — or worse — do something morally stupid.

More relationship advice

To meet his sexual needs, talk to God about any hesitation you have. Start with your own heart; learn what satisfies your husband and commit yourself to meet his needs. Are you the one person your husband can count on when the rubber meets the road? Your husband needs your friendship.

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He needs to know — deep down — that he is safe to explore with you what is churning around in his heart and mind. Let your husband know you want to be his best friend.

A husband’s top five love needs

Make your relationship a safe place for your husband to face his pain and be willing to love sacrificially. Encourage him to hear your applause. Most importantly, pray for him to hear the applause of heaven — to know God is on his side! Your husband needs to be growing spiritually. He needs spiritual connection with God, with you and with other men. Being the spiritual leader of your family is the toughest job your husband will ever take on, and he needs your help.

Encourage him to spend personal time in the Word, talk about Scripture with him, pray with him, pray for him, and make time for fellowship and worship together. It will bring you closer and help you build an extraordinary marriage! Married for over 30 years, the parents of two adult daughters and five grandchildren, Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg have a unique blend of insight and wisdom that touches people of all ages. Together with Gary's 25, hours of counselling experience and Barbara's gift of encouragement and Biblical teaching, they are equipping thousands of families through their interactive daily radio program, conferences and marriage and family resources.

If you liked this article and would like to go deeper, we have some helpful resources below. Free advice on marriage, parenting and Christian living delivered straight to your inbox. Get Involved Pray for us Share your story Make a donation. Support Focus Help us reach families across Canada Reasons to give. We recommend. More from Focus. Gary and Barb Rosberg. Obviously, these are generalities, but here are just a few of the differences between men and women: When guys need encouragement, they typically go for the slap on the back from the guys on the court.

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When women need encouragement, they want hugs from their supportive friends. Men look to their friends to be just company.

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Women want emotional connection in friendships. Gary and Barbara Rosberg. All rights reserved. Published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. To order this resource or to find our more about the Rosbergs, v Continue reading. We're here to help All services Our impact.

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