- How old am I:
- What is my ethnicity:
- What is my favourite music:
- I prefer to listen latin
- Body tattoos:
That article addressed the physical sense of loneliness, of feeling bored and lonely at home because my husband was away. It was about missing the companionship of a spouse who was expected to come home in the near future. This article is different.
Marriage and loneliness. They are strange bedmates and talk multitudes about the complexity of the relationship between partners. What if your marriage leaves you with nobody to share your life? For many, this may be just a myth, but for some, this is the reality.
MomJunction tells you why you could feel lonely in a marriage, and the s that hint at your loneliness. We also come up with some solutions for this problem, so read on.
Feeling lonely isn’t normal, it’s a your marriage is broken
She knew the three-hour journey would be boring, and so was it. She and her husband reached the destination without a single word being spoken between them. While Jane sank into her phone, her husband stuck his eyes on the road.
And their thoughts? Loneliness happens when you both are at one place, but cannot connect with each other. You both feel awkward to be alone with each other. There is neither physical nor mental intimacy between you. In simple words, you are a couple to the world out there, but not for yourselves.
Your interaction with your partner becomes hostile and argumentativeand you start assuming things.
Loneliness is a common problem among millions of people across the world. According to a study on Swedes, there is a gender difference in loneliness among married people, with women experiencing it more than men 1. Here are a few reasons why loneliness can happen to you.
They bully you, and keep you under constant fear. Psychological and emotional abuse becomes a regular affair. You are afraid of your spouse because you do not know what circumstances can invite their wrath. This keeps you away from them as much as possible. A prominent reason for modern day divorces is a busy schedule of the couples. You and your partner are so busy with your careers or with family matters that you hardly get any time to spend together.
This creates a vacuum and time widens that gap. When you sit back and think, you could feel the loneliness all around you. Your mother is seriously ill and you are worried. When there is no emotional connect, there is no scope for emotional support. And when you know you will not get that from them, you prefer silence to sharing your emotions.
When was the last time you got physically intimate with your partner? A naughty pinch or a warm kiss or a steamy night is not just for the body but for the mind too.
Common causes of loneliness in a relationship
The lesser you do that the wider is the gap between you two. You are always surrounded by your kids or other family members. Or the family is so big that there is no time to steal a few private moments with your partner. Loneliness after marriage does not always stem from your spouse. The past events or relationships in your life can also be the culprit. According to research studies, your loneliness can also be the result of depression or friction with your parents or siblings, and your past relationship with them 2.
Loneliness need not always be in-your-face. It may be subtle, or you may be too busy to realize that you are lonely. So, how would you know if you are lonely in your relationship? Do not ignore the gut feeling that something is off between you and your partner. The very fact that you are thinking about your intimacy or the lack of it means something is amiss in the relationship.
You may not be getting intimate with your spouse due to lack of interest, shortage of time, or lack of privacy. Whatever the reason might be, the absence of intimacy could be a of your loneliness. You tell your spouse what you did through the day, they tell you about their routine, and you drift into a long conversation. Is this not the case with you?
Causes of loneliness in marriage:
If your spouse simply rolls their eyes when you strike a conversation, or is busy checking his phone when you talk to him, then yes, your communication channel is not working the way it should. You remember the asment your children have to submit on Monday and the meeting you have to attend, but you do not remember your anniversary.
Special days like birthdays and anniversaries bring a spark into our routines. Your spouse is hesitant to come to you for help. But this was not the case in the past. This could indicate a change in their attempts to depend less on you.
Why would they do that? Loneliness is depressing, and if it due to your relationship with the person you love the most, then there could be no words to describe the feelings.
But why should such feelings come at all? Nip them in the bud, and you will be free of depression. You need not have to wait for the early als of loneliness. Learn from others mistakes. Make sure you are not falling into the trap of monotony. Make a conscious effort to keep the atmosphere at home lively. Communication is the panacea for all ills in a marriage. Talk to each other as often as possible. Talk randomly and share your experiences of that day. Approach your spouse from their perspective.
That keeps the atmosphere at home lively. Watch your wedding video or look at your honeymoon photos.
Talk about your courtship days and all the romantic outings you both experienced together. The naughty or silly things you secretly did without the knowledge of your family and friends.
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That will make you both laugh together. The couple that laughs together stays together! Is he struggling with his necktie? Help him do it. Is she a foodie? Prepare a delicious breakfast for her. This will make your partner look up to you. They know they can come to you for any help or with any problem. You will be their first destination in distress. It is not always necessary to look at things your way. Your spouse could have a different opinion. Interference for you would be love and affection for your partner.
Stop judging! And if you thought that the above steps would help you avoid only loneliness, no. They will also help you avoid all the illnesses you get due to loneliness in a marriage.