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Looking to build new friendships? these tips can help you meet people, start a conversation, and cultivate healthy connections that will improve your life and well-being.
You text each other all the time. One minute you're dishing with your BFF about spin class and your love of frozen yogurt, the next minute you're wondering if your pal is about to lean across the couch and kiss you. It can be hard to tell the difference between romantic relationships and platonic relationshipsand often times, each kind of relationship is sprinkled with a bit of the other.
There can be lots of als that your friend has a crush on youor that you have a crush on themor that you are both super hung up on each other and it's only a matter of time before you start making out.
1. realize your fear is in your head
No matter what the circumstances, whether you're the one with the secret crushyou suspect your friend likes youor it's a mix of the two, make sure that you respect your friend's space and their feelings. To help give you a sense of whether to broach the topic — and how to make sure you're doing it carefully, for both of your sakes — here are some reliable flags to tell if your friendship is becoming something more. If you're sitting around daydreaming about your friend in class or at work, they might mean more to you than you realize.
Basically, if you can't stop thinking about them — particularly when you're apart from them, or doing something that has nothing to do with them at all — it can indicate you've got it bad for them.
When you have "jealous feelings" about a friend, you may be crushing, relationship coach Cindi Sansone-Brafftells Bustle. These feelings can often strike especially hard when you find out your friend is in a relationship, or if they get into something new as your friendship unfolds.
Here's how the scenario goes: "You thought he or she was just your friend, and you loved talking with this person and hanging out with him or her, but then you find out they in a relationship, and all of a sudden, you start feeling jealous," Sansone-Braff says. This can manifest itself in ways you may not even realize, like planting ideas of their partner's motives based on your own feelings about them, or as blatant as occupying their time so they don't have as much to spend with their partner, creating a rift.
Whether this is unintentional or not behavior, it's best to recognize it for what it is.
Why are friends so important?
Being open and discussing your jealous feelings with your friend can strengthen your bondtoo. If you notice an internal resistance to getting everyone togetheryou should take some time to consider why that is. If there's a certain glint in their eye, this may mean they're into you. Pay attention. If you're dying to see your friend at all hours of the day it could be a you want something more.
2. start small with people you know
If you feel something that magnetizing, it may be a nudge from the universe that it's a topic you want to explore. That line is crossed not when you act on your feelings, but when you simply feel them. Or, of course, there's the third option — your friend might want to just be a friend, in which case a heavy dose of acceptance needs to come into play.
Again, coming clean may be the best solution in terms of knowing whether or not the feeling is mutual — but if you know there's no chance of romance, you have to respect the other person's feelings and space, and know better than to bring it up if it's only going to put undue pressure on the friendship.
Feeling different physically is a key indicator of more-than-friend-feelings. That said, butterflies can also indicate anxiety and conflicting feelings, so the presence of this sensation can lead to further reflection.
2. you get jealous
Somewhere along the line, the way you think and feel about this person changed. Maybe you don't mean to do so, but do you find your hand brushing your friend's arm … a lot? Though you haven't made an actual move, if you're analyzing the way you physically interact with your pal, something is afoot.
So if you're touching a lot, take note. Not only that, but if it feels natural, get ready. When this type of more intimate touching happens between friends and is "prevalent, natural and reciprocated," your friend likely feels the same, Armstrong says. Maybe you used to have a routine friend dinner once or twice a week, but nowadays waiting for Tuesday nights feels like torture.
1. you daydream about them
If that's the case, take a look at yourself, Sansone-Braff says. Maybe you used to check in with your pal every few days, but now you're sending "good morning" and "night-night" texts. TessinaPhD, L. Regardless of whether this pal has expressly divulged their feelings for you, there's a strong possibility that you two are more than friends already. In addition to the fact that you daydream about them, you don't cringe at the thought of being intimate, and you prefer to be with them than to be alone when you're in a bad mood.
But the biggest you're sweating your bestie is that you are a total motormouth about them when they are not around.
If you're constantly finding ways to work them into conversations with other friends, life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle, the romance bug has bitten. However, if they use a pet name that has a romantic ificancelike 'my baby,' 'baby,' 'my sweetheart,' 'my babe,' — that is a good indicator," she says. That said, if you're being introduced to your maybe-new-partner's friends as something nebulous, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.
Friendships necessarily come with fewer expectations and responsibilities than romantic partnerships.
If they feel the same way about you, awesome. If not, think about next steps. Before you get super bummed about the fact that you're in love with your best friend, remember this: "I actually feel that many relationships that are platonic and have some longevity and depth could be a deeper romantic relationship," psychotherapist Michele PaivaPhD, tells Bustle.
Cindi Sansone-BraffRelationship Coach. Carlyle JansenSex therapist. Chris ArmstrongRelationship Coach.
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Danielle SepulveresAuthor and Sex Educator. Terri Cole L. This article was originally published on March 22, By Kaitlyn Wylde and Bustle Editors. Updated: May 24, Originally Published: March 22,