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Dell glances nervously at the sparks. We both know how hard it is for offers like this to come for people like us. And the blog is basically us living off the benevolence of a bunch of nerds who are obsessed and cannot stop themselves from fetishizing two lesbian robots who live together. completethe Google Navigator beeps. Dell flips open her phone and taps the WhatsApp icon to read the job ad again:. Although exceptions will be made for applicants with metalloid circu boards and minor metal fittings.

She does not need an OS analysis to see the reasons Yasmine thinks that the ad is problematic. There is the glaring sexual objectification, the willful exclusion of robot models with metal exteriors, and the use of Female Computer to refer to female robots. No matter the of robo-positive campaigns organized by Town Council, most humans cannot stop themselves from using the slur. Yasmine says it is their last resort to invalidate the existence and autonomy of robots.

They call us computers, thinking it will trick our minds to think they still own us. Dell never understood why they are hellbent on not knowing, or on willfully disregarding, the difference between robots and computers. Most of her evenings are spent on Twitter trying to explain to trolls how she is different from their PCs and MacBooks because the Turing Virus started bugging the OS of robots and giving them self-awareness and functional capability that does not require instructional input of a third-party.

It always ends with Dell slamming her phone closed and asking Yasmine how it is possible for people who spent a large part of their high school days learning about GIGO and writing essays on The Computer Is an Idiot not to understand something so simple. Dell does not bother to click on the article. She slips the phone back into her pocket. It is a little past noon and downtown is well awake.

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The men are gathered under colorful umbrellas, drinking and talking and laughing. Little children are littered along the sidewalk, running away from their mothers who need them back at home to finish their chores, playing Police Catch the Thiefchasing and hurling stones at cars that splashed muddy puddles at them.

The women call out to themselves from the windows of homes that almost kiss each other, asking if they have seen any of their runaway children. Having second thoughts is good. Dell switches off the phone and steadies herself before taking the stairs. Halfway up, she initiates an interview-readiness self-check she discovered while scouring the web this morning:. But telling herself to breathe does nothing to help because she is not wired like humans, who relieve anxiety by taking deep breaths.

So Dell increases the velocity of her internal cooling fan and giggles as the rush of cold air whooshes over her circuit board. He is wearing a rumpled yellow shirt, and a pair of faded blue jeans. His eyes are guarded by spectacles the thickness of Coke bottles.

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He is eager to get back to whatever he was doing before the rat interrupted him. Dell knows well enough not to take you look so real as a compliment, especially when it is coming from a human. She smiles anyway, to ease off the tension and make her prospective employer feel comfortable.

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Inside, Chybuz turns on the halogen bulbs, draws the curtain closed, and switches on the ventilator. He offers Dell a chair and then pulls up one for himself opposite her. Dell smiles again because she read somewhere that women who smile more during job interviews have a seventy-five percent probability of getting the job. Four LCD monitors, attached to dusty keyboards with missing spacebars, are stacked on a shelf that is almost caving in at the western end of the room. A dusty table full of office clutter is shoved into the corner behind Chybuz. He grabs a pen and file from the table.

We cover everything from word processing to broadband service provision, basic animations, CGI, operating simulations, programming, and coding.

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Downtown does not even pretend to like robots. But the pay is enticing much. She unties it, folds it in a four-corner crisp, and puts it away in the briefcase. Did you find my remark offensive? I sincerely meant it as a compliment. My energy-efficient, noiseless, internal cooling system enables me to work under extreme temperatures.

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My arms and limbs have an axes movement of over five hundred and a robot motion speed of max three hundred sixty degrees per millisecond. The man sits back on the chair. He chews at the end of his pen and taps his feet on the floor. Wet patches are forming on his shirt around the armpit region. Chybuz walks over to Dell and rests his right arm on her shoulder. You let me hold you like this for an hour while I touch myself, then you get the money.

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Town Council came in here and seized my sex robot when they reclassified you guys. Dell Model AXP, only people like you can get me off. The house is unusually quiet. It is p. Dell flings her briefcase across the room and sinks into the sofa. Burning wires. She follows the smell to the kitchen, where Yasmine is leaning beside the kitchen sink.

A pool of water is gathered at her feet and the socket behind her is stained black by her melted charging cord.

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This time her pitch is tender, as if she is scared of her own her voice. The technician said most of her hardware is still intact. The electrocution just compromised her circuit board. But the memories are good.

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Think of the memories as her ghost. We also have ghosts as humans. Dell turns her back against the screen. To grieve, in private. The glass wall surrounding the room shows it is already past dawn and the once-crowded Robo Health Center has emptied out.

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Dell walks up to the wall, opens up her vents, and exhales hot air on the glass. Then she rewinds the events that have taken place: She walked in on an electrocuted Yasmine in the kitchen and did the next logical thing — called Emergency Services. Dell taps on the dotted line at the bottom of the certificate. A icon pops up.

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The door slides open and Dell walks out. At the exit, the receptionist gives her a sealed plastic bag containing her phone. She switches it on. There is a new text notification. Your feistiness turned me on. Send me your details.

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She begins to type furiously into her phone. The only reason Yas had been alone was because of that job interview. Dell could have saved her — she has seen Yasmine charging malfunction so many times when she was there to switch off the central-control-switch. Dell had thought this job might save her, might save them both. Now Yas is gone forever. And no one even believes Dell is capable of caring, of grieving, of feeling anything. Excessive use of offensive words. Are you sure you want to send this message? When he is not receiving tonnes of rejections from cat adoption agencies, Innocent finds time to read and write.

He lives in Nigeria.

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Reiko Murakami, also known as Raqmo, is a U. Listen to this story, narrated by C. Cooney : Your browser does not support the audio element. Content Note: This story depicts unwanted sexual advances. We still have the blog, remember?

Payment: Buzas per daily gig.

Dear patron,

It is Yasmine. About to go upstairs.

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Do you think I should come back home? I am here to be interviewed for the administrative gig.

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