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There are a lot of decisions you have to make when getting into a new relationship with someone: when to meet each other's families and friends, how often you should see each other, and when you should have sex for the first time.

Every relationship moves at its own pace, and the most optimal time you should have sex is whenever you're both comfortable with it.

7 reasons you shouldn't wait for a partner to want the same things as you, according to therapists

But if you're stressing out about wanting to wait for a little into your relationship in order to do the deed, you might actually be onto something. Having sex can put you in a vulnerable position. For many people, waiting to have sex can allow them to see if the person they're about to get into bed with is someone that they can have faith in.

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The more you get to know someone, the more you can suss out their character, and try to figure out if they're someone who won't take advantage of you, won't go further than your limits, and will respect you. Even if you're not having sex with someone, you should feel free to talk about it. The longer you wait to have sex with your partner, the more you can have conversations about your sexual preferences, limits, kinks, and fantasies.

Waiting for sex may be difficult at times, but building up the anticipation before going all the way with someone can make it even better. When you wait, you build up sexual tension and fantasies, which can make the whole thing way more fun, Whitney said.

You want your partner to be someone they're not

You can look forward to it, fantasize about it, maybe talk about it — and that's really sexy. The two of you get to savor the messing-around stage and learn each other's body. It's fun. Everyone has a different view of what they get from sex.

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For some it's just a physical act, but for others, sex can be a powerful and emotional act that can bond you and your partner. When you wait to have an emotional connection with that person and then have sex, it can be a way to bring you two even closer.

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Sex is more satisfying when there is an emotional and physical connection present in the experience. Even "safe sex" can provide you with some risks. Ideally you and your partner should both have an up-to-date sexually transmitted infections test, but if you haven't, waiting is a great way to give both of you time to get tested. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, by the way, recommends that every sexually-active person is tested once a year.

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This way, you can both know your status going into the relationship and seek treatment if needed. Just because you're waiting to have sex with someone doesn't mean that you can't do other physical acts. Putting off sex with someone can allow you to get really good at kissing, foreplay, and other affectionate acts that people often gloss over while getting to the "main event.

While every relationship is different, studies have shown that there may be something to the act of waiting to have sex in a relationship. A study from Cornell University surveyed couples about their relationship happiness, habits, and other intimate questions.

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Researchers said that participants who waited at least six months to have sex with their partners were actually happier than those who didn't. Another study, conducted by Illinois State University communications professor Sandra Mettsfound that waiting to have sex until after couples said "I love you" had a positive impact on the relationship. There is no magical timetable, but if these studies are to be believed, waiting just a little bit can do some good. If you're a person who is in touch with their emotions, you might find that sex bonds you quickly with that person.

This can be powerful and helpful with the right person, but if you've coupled off with the wrong one, those feelings of attachment can leave you feeling bound to something unhealthy. And that may mean that even though the two were a match, other issues got in the way of them ever determining that.

This will come as a shock to all of you, most likely, but newsflash: people lie and people can change their minds. If you're a person who only wants to have sex with someone you're in a committed relationship with, the best way to do that is to wait until you feel some commitment from that person first before you take the plunge. Sometimes, the less kind among us can say one thing in order to get what they want, and their intentions may not be so pure. A real partner will respect your wishes and come to a compromise with you about a time-frame and level of commitment you're both comfortable with.

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9 reasons why waiting to have sex may be the best thing you do for your relationship

Kristin Salaky. You'll know if you can trust them.

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You'll have a better idea of what you both like. Anticipation can make the whole thing sweeter.

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If you're a person who equates sex with emotion, it will make the experience better for you. It gives you both time to get tested. You can get really good at kissing. Research shows you might be happier.

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It can help you protect your feelings. You can make sure the person does want a relationship. Loading Something is loading. address. Relationship advice Evergreen story.

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Be very eager, anxious, or impatient, as in We can't wait for the baseball season to begin or I can't wait to see Dad—it's been a year.


It may be based on convenience or short-term circumstances.


Does that even make sense?


There's nothing more disheartening than meeting the love of your life and realizing that they're just not ready to be with you in a way that you deserve.