- How old am I:
- My sexual identity:
- Eyes colour:
- Bright gray-green
- What is my sex:
- I'm female
- What is my hair:
- My figure features:
- My figure features is thin
- Body tattoos:
Katharine Smyth is 39 years old and has never, to her knowledge, had an orgasm. This week on The Experiment : A personal quest for sexual fulfillment reveals centuries of mythmaking about female pleasure. Be part of The Experiment.
On our six-part Netflix series, The goop Labwe explored six wellness topics. The series is deed to entertain and inform—not provide medical advice. You should always consult your doctor when it comes to personal health and before you start treatment. Sex, or at least good sex, requires us to talk about it. This is what we hear again and again when we talk to sex therapists: Our inability to talk about sex, in both our daily lives and with our partners, is what holds us back from pleasure. How do you cook chicken? So when we set out to explore female pleasure on The goop Labwe had already asked a lot of questions about sexual health.
We have more questions on the topic of sex and pleasure than we could possibly cover in a single episode—or season—of television. Any sex therapist—or any therapist, really—will tell you that there is absolutely no normal when it comes to sex, sexual desire, or fantasy.
Our level of scientific knowledge on the subject of fantasy is limited—but social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, PhD, has spent his career seeking to learn more.
Understanding sex and female pleasure
Some of his findings are published in his latest book, in which he describes our collective fantasies and helps make sense of what they might mean, tackling everything from how fantasies are connected to personalities to how our sexual histories shape desires. And he concludes that one of the best things you can do for your sexual health is accept your desires—and talk about them. Perel has a few ideas.
For Three Womenher highly anticipated first book, journalist Lisa Taddeo immersed herself in the lives of three American women for the better part of ten years, observing their secret sex lives. Psychiatrist Stephen Snyder, MD, thinks the key lies in shifting your perspective. The short answer: possibly. Nutritionist Adam Cunliffe breaks down fifteen aphrodisiacs for better sex. According to Laurie Mintz, PhD, the answer begins and ends at the clitoris. And advice from Snyder: Orgasms are great, but obsessing about climax can be a roadblock to intimacy and pleasure.
Sex and intimacy expert Michaela Boehm writes about the importance of finding pleasure in your body —the mind-body connection that, she says, is the secret to finding deeper, greater pleasure. Boehm also shares her secret to erotic sensation and sexual fulfillment. And Daedone has some good advice for achieving an orgasmic state. It depends. And she helps us take back control of our own sexual experience. Boehm gives us her introduction to Tantra and Tantric sex in an interview that demystifies the practice.
Tantra is also, fundamentally, an exercise in creating sexual tension.
But it can be harder to find. Barcelona-based erotic filmmaker Erika Lust sat down with us to explain how—and why—she makes porn for womenand why her audience is tired of mainstream porn.
Over to Perel again and always. Psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed wants you to use Venus and Mars as guides in how to be a better lover. So we asked psychiatrist Robin Berman what to say and when to say it. She has a few recommendations for how we can all change our thinking on teen sextoo. For more, see our roundup of essential resources for navigating the conversation around kids, teens, puberty, and sex. Potentially pretty bad! As psychotherapists Douglas Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito explained to us in an interview about sex addiction : So often, men watch porn as a way to understand who they are sexually and to educate themselves.
Which is like watching a war movie and thinking you understand responsible firearm safety. For more on porn and ethicsread our interview with psychologist David Ley. Sexual trauma can become locked in the body.
On The goop Podcast, psychiatrist James Gordon takes us through a variety of trauma-healing techniquesfrom soft-belly breathing to something called autogenic training. But Perel has found that affairs are sometimes, in part, a form of self-discovery. Sex researchers, clinicians, and the public have different ideas about what constitutes sex addiction —or if there even is such a thing.
What you need to know about female pleasure — for her and for you
We are extremely compelled by the perspective of Braun-Harvey and Vigorito, d marriage and family therapists and certified sex therapists who outline their approach to other clinicians in Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction. What if we met it with a sense of curiosity instead of condemnation and shame? Gerda Endemann, our senior director of science and research, has some pelvic-floor-care recommendations. She also explains how vFit —a red-light device with warmth and sonic vibration to complement your regular vaginal and pelvic-floor routine—works.
Podcast: female pleasure in the age of the enlightened male
We interviewed urologist Arthur Burnett about a promising intervention: shock wave therapy for erectile dysfunction. Many commonly sold lubricants have parabens and other potentially problematic ingredients in them.
Maggie Ney, ND, breaks it down for us. And yes, there are great, clean lubes on the market. In the long run, a relationship works best when each of you advocates for what you want. Why are female sexuality and shame so inextricably linked—and why do not enough women feel like they deserve pleasure?
This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.
To the extent that this article features the advice of physicians or medical practitioners, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of goop. What does science say about sexual desire and fantasy?
What do women need to hear about desire? What kind of sex are other women having? How do I cultivate desire in a long-term relationship? Can certain foods increase desire? Why is there an orgasm gap between men and women? How do we fix it? How do I find pleasure in my body? What can I do if I feel disconnected?
How do I have good casual sex?
What is Tantra, and how do I practice it? Is there such thing as good porn? What does my upbringing say about who I am in bed? What do the astrologers say about sex? Kids and Sex Education. How do I talk to my kids about sex? How do we raise boys to be emotionally intelligent? We asked LA-based therapist Shira Myrow for her insights—and a toolkit. How bad is the porn my kids are watching? How does sexual trauma manifest in the body?
Guided solo practices for increasing pleasure
How do I heal from sexual trauma? Monogamy and Infidelity. Why do people cheat?
Who actually gets bored first in relationships? Is sex addiction real?
Can you explain how polyamory works, and why it works for some people? What can I do to support my pelvic floor?